The Weekly Half Blood
by Sirengland
Summary: The weekly half blood has been established. Follow local son of athena on documention of new events. Like the fact that ze cold war has not ended yet. We're looking for more talented people to document everything, including one who will go to Camp Jupiter. This will only be told through CHB's Perperctive. This is going on major reforms, so expect posting delays.
1. Humor Bits 1

**The Weekly Half Blood**

 **The weekly half-blood owns no brand or image**

 **By: Sirengland**

Extra Extra! Read all about it! A new "European" camp has been discovered. A small band of mini-christopher columbuses set foot on our soils just today!

The new "Europeans" were very rude and acted like they owned, until Clarrise la rue gave them a good whupping. " They sure got what they deserved" As said by the lady herself. There was lots of complaining from our "European" Counterparts as they tried to impose the Lord's on us. What they didn't know was that the Lord also happened to be Zeus himself. They had no such luck, until they shook their fists in the sky and got a good shock back to reality. They left us with a warning, before Clarrise again smacked them good. We have no idea what this might to the relations of the camps.


	2. Humor Bits 2

**The Weekly Half-Blood  
**

 **Disclaimer: We do not own any Branding**

 **By: Sirengland**

 **Business News**

 **Telecom Troubles for Hermes INC**

Do you work for Hermes incorperated? Or Hermes Telecom? Hermes Incorperated is announcing that they will lay of 20% of it's staff due to downsizing measures and efficiancy quotas. We are unable to acquire an interview with the CEO, but we have a statement from a employee from the company. "It's probably because of the other company, you know: Lordly Telecom, we've been expecting this for months, it's a miracle that layoffs didn't happen sooner."

Lordly Telecom has announced a 5 billion dollar expansion in Alaska

Hermes Inc has also dropped 2470 points today, the stock market is investigating what's causing such a downfall.

 **Stock Points**

Zeus Electric has gained .31%

Aphrodite Beauty has lost .34%

Poseidon shipping earned a stargering 1.45%

Athena Book Supplies has gained .021%

Ares War supplies has earned .004%

Hermes Broadcast has lost a stagering 2.54%

 **New Oil Fields**

A rather large oil field containing 2 billion oil barrels has been claimed by Zeus Electric, but is facing legal troubles from Godly Electric, They say that they discovered this patch 4 years ago but decided not to investigate. Here is a statement from the CEO of Zeus Electric: " ********! We found it, and they just waltz in and claim it, who do they think they are?!" The oil field dispute also involved 3 countries including Russia, the US and Canada. The 5 Parties are going to court tommorrow. If you turn on your TV to any news channel, you can find the five party bickering like grandmas. We expect this to be the case for at least 3 more weeks.


	3. Humor Bits 3

**The Weekly Half Blood**

 **The weekly half blood owns nothing**

 **Edited and written by Sirengland**

* * *

 **Toenail Trouble**

Zeus today has decided to clip his toenails due to pestering from a certain Olympian cough*Aphrodite*cough. However, there is a problem as his toenails weigh a pound each and each is increibly large at 15 centimeters. One of said toenails has fallen from Olympus and into the Mortal Realm. Dubbed as a plane part coming off, there is a rather large decrease in flights and tickets availible as Airlines check their planes for missing parts. An emmergency council meeting was called and the problem was eventually resolved. However, not before lowering the Dow by 250 points that day.

Now for what the Olympian's Opinions: Aphrodite says she is not sorry about this and that Zeus should've been more careful. "I regret nothing! Have you seen those toenails? They were monsters!" Hermes is currently busy in an effort to draw up a plan with Athena to prevent this from happening. Poseidon says it was bound to happen, Zeus's "carelessness" to quote Poseidon was bound to make this happen. Hades just laughed; he is currently in the infirmery being treated by Apollo for mental disorder.

Artemis is unavailible for comment.

Which begs the question. Why the heck does the almighty Zeus need to clip his toenails? Can't he just poof them away? Zeus declined to comment on this matter.

* * *

 **Wine Problem**

Bacchus is currently being sued by 2708 mortals, 42 companies, 12 state governments and 2 very angry foreign governments and counting for bad wine. His wine was found to contain arsenic, zinc, copper, and various poisonous compounds at 230 above approved amounts. Jupiter is currently very angry at Bacchus for poisoning his wine. Many minor gods are suffering from various illnesses because of this. Bachus with the help of Mercury and Minerva are currently drafting up a new health-plan (Though we all know well it worked) for this year. In the mean time, don't drink alcohol. I suggest coffee instead as your wonder drug as the wine supply as contaiminated as was in the Prohibition era.

* * *

 **Land Troubles**

Camp Half-Blood might be turned into a new high rise area if the B-245 Section 2 is not resolved quickly. The current clause states that the City is allowed to take any land that is not properly confined to the zoning conditions. And the city with a 60% approval rate is able to rezone any lot except for national and provincial parks. Demigods are urged to write to the Local Government about why this is a bad idea. Excuse me, not "urged", more like write to the Government or face the wrath of Zeus.

If that is not resolved in that manner, there is another way. If the farm is a essential community service it may not be demolished. Which means winning the local Jam fest. All campers are mandated by Zeus fist(the REAL one) to help the Demeter kids on their project.

Which shows one thing. We really need to move somewhere with less hecked up beurocracy.

* * *

 **Local Funnys:**

A batch of "Funnys" were realised today. No those are not a laughing matter. They are basically furies with more fury. 5 furies were realeased at central park today. Those things are the worst thing to happen to manhatten yet. A search and kill team has been assembled, but the funnys are nowhere in sight. They are basically giant bears though, so they aren't too hard to find. If you find one, run! It's dangerous and will kill you. Then at a safe location contact the Search and Kill team and alert them to your location. Stay vigilant, you never know when you might find a giant bear attacking your neighbourhood.


End file.
